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The Psychology of Love – Can Passion Last?

The popular understanding of the psychology of love is that when a couple embraces a committed long-term relationship, the passion and fire of new romance fades into affection, and mutual comfort. A recent study though reports that it isn’t passion that fades; it is only the maddening obsession with the other that does. The romantic passion still can carry on, and sometimes does, forever. The traditional view that researchers held got the ardor of the new relationship all mixed up with the romance, the attraction and love. And TV sitcoms and movies have been no help either. All you hear in them is how people get hitched, and then despair in private over how they will never again experience another first date.

In the initial stages of a new love, you keenly feel how everything is up in the air: expectations are low, and the satisfaction felt in everything is very high. If you get a phone call from the other, you feel on top of the world. If you think about it, there is really nothing about a phone call that one would need to get all that worked up over. Expectations rise with greater certainty in a long-term relationship; and while individual highs may not be that rewarding, the overall general sense of happiness and well-being always appears uniformly high in studies of this kind. In research done recently on the psychology of love that was published in the respected professional magazine Review of General Psychology, researchers studied 150 couples in New York State who had relationships that lasted past the eight-year mark.

Big surprise, they found that when there was romantic love to begin with, all these fortunate people experienced intense attraction long term, an interest in each other, and rewarding sexual attraction as well. Fully 10% of the couples rated the romantic love they felt as the highest possible on the scale. It is their opinion than that given commitment and hard work put in, long-term relationships definitely reward people with romantic attachment that lasts forever. If you really get to thinking about the psychology of love, it isn’t really an age thing at all; people can fall in love at 60 and feel exactly as carried away and as wonderful as they would falling in love at 16. You just need to pay a little attention to the steady level of joy you feel once the euphoria and manic excitement calm down a bit.

And as for the hard work part of the relationship, all you need to do is try to put the challenge back into that relationship, one pleasing example after another. Going to new places together, finding more about the way you react to situations, and of course a little naughty excitement – the way it is meant to be, all count as good freshness. Perhaps the best advice might be to not look too deeply into the psychology of love. Lots of couples who are earnest about finding themselves and finding each other often look at conventional wisdom about fading romance, with amusement. Often the answer is right with you, not out there.

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