LOVE AND MARRIAGE ARE BOTH DECISIONS
Love and marriage are a decision to be taken. You can easily see this by observing the traditions of other people. In the eastern world they marry and decide to love while in the west, they love and then decide to marry.
One may say, “But we fell in love and have decided to marry”. This is a common way, people understand the subject of love. This means that we lack control and are besieged by a complicated physical effect. People decide to join themselves legally with the hope that things will remain the way they are.
More than 50% of the time things change and this is because we assumed that some form of mystery made the first decision for us to love while we made the second decision to marry. Now we find ourselves in a mess, an expensive mess that can make us unhappy, bitter and can affect the lives of children yet unborn for many decades.
Love and marriage are decisions to be taken. It does not really matter in what order the decision is made to love and marry. It actually depends more on the origin of your tradition; western or eastern. However, you cannot build a healthy and successful relationship except you make a conscious decision on these issues.
One way to make a sound decision is by having a clear understanding of the nature of the issues involved. Love is quite difficult: it is an abstraction. Marriage is much easier: it is a contract.
When you make a promise to love, you take it upon yourself to pay whatever price is required for a heart. When you promise to marry, you walk up to the preacher or judge and pay few amount of money to get a license.
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